What Luxury Actually Means to Us Now

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Luxury is a word that gets stretched over almost everything: gold taps, long menus, lobbies built to impress. The trips on this site have taught us that, for the two of us, it means something much quieter. It's privacy. It's time. And it's great service from people who make everything feel easy.

None of those are flashy. You can't always see them in a photo. But they are what we remember, and they are what we now plan every trip around, whether it's an island in Greece, a city in Italy or a day trip from Boston.

1. Privacy: a place that is just ours

The moments that have felt most luxurious to us all had one thing in common: nobody else was there.

In Santorini, our stay was a villa at White Pearl Villas in Oia, with a private pool looking straight out over the caldera and the loungers lined up facing the sea. It made it very hard to leave, and honestly, we didn't try very hard.

In Paros, the most luxurious thing we did had nothing to do with a reservation. Our villa at Blue Mare was so comfortable that we spent the evening in: a film on the sofa, dinner delivered to the door, and nowhere else we wanted to be.

In Palma, it was a small plunge pool on the roof of Posada Terra Santa, looking straight at the Basilica de Sant Francesc. In Rome, it was a room at Hotel Parlamento that opened onto a sun-warmed rooftop terrace, the perfect spot for a cold drink after a long day of walking.

What we look for now: a private pool, a terrace, a balcony, a rooftop that feels like ours at the hour we want it. One beautiful private corner matters more to us than a long list of shared facilities.

2. Time: nobody else's schedule

The second thing we've learned to pay for is time. Not more of it, exactly, but time that belongs to us.

That's why the best day of our whole Greece trip was a private boat day around Antiparos: turquoise lagoons, cliffs carved by the wind, sea caves you can only reach by water, and the freedom to swim whenever we wanted. It felt like the whole sea was ours.

It's why we loved our private day in Chianti, planned around what we actually enjoy: more tastings and more scenery, fewer long cellar tours, and a lunch under the wisteria that nobody rushed. We wrote about it side by side with a group tour in Group or private? Choosing a Chianti wine tour, and the difference really comes down to one word: time.

Time can also be very simple. At Amazing View Colosseo, our ritual never changes: two espressos on the balcony and a few quiet minutes before the city wakes up and the tour groups arrive. At the Vatican, we chose the earliest small-group start we could, which left the rest of the day free for a long lunch.

What we look for now: private or small-group over big and rushed, early starts on the busy sights, and at least one part of every day with no plan at all.

3. Great service: people who make it easy

The third ingredient is the one that's hardest to see in a listing and easiest to feel in person: great service.

In Athens, our stay was The Pinnacle Athens, and the staff were so helpful from the moment we arrived, with every question, booking and recommendation. The location was its own kind of luxury, too. We walked almost everywhere, and being so central meant we could pop back for a cool shower between plans.

At White Pearl Villas, the staff were a big part of why we loved our stay, and on the evenings we didn't want to go anywhere, the on-site restaurant was a real treat. On our boat day in Paros, our captain brought snacks from his own farm and wine he makes himself, and treated us like friends he was showing his island to.

And sometimes great service is just a person waiting for you. Arriving in Mallorca, we walked out to a driver who was already there for us, in a Mercedes van, and it felt like the biggest luxury of the day. In Santorini, booking our rides around the island ahead of time meant we never spent a minute working out how to get to dinner and back.

What we look for now: small hotels with staff who know your name, reviews that mention the people (not just the pool), and arrivals that are sorted before we land.

What we happily skip

Defining luxury this way has made it easier to say no to things that look impressive and don't add much for two.

• The upgrade we won't use. In Barcelona, the rooftop of the Sercotel Rosellón looks straight at the Sagrada Família. Our room faced it too, but honestly, we didn't need it: the roof is where you'll want to be at golden hour anyway.
• A famous name over a perfect location. La Terrazza sul Duomo is a small B&B, and for the price, the view and the location, we haven't found anything in Florence that beats it.
• Going big every night. We love a great night out, but the secret to keeping a trip romantic is one big night, then one slow one.

The questions we ask before we book

Wherever we're going next, whether it's somewhere we already love or a place still on our wishlist, these are the questions that tell us whether a trip will feel luxurious to us:

1. Will we have a space that is just ours: a pool, a terrace, a balcony, a view?
2. Is there one day built entirely around us, with nobody else's schedule?
3. Do the reviews talk about the people, and how they made guests feel?
4. Is the arrival handled, so the trip starts the moment we land?
5. Is there room in the plan to do nothing at all, together?

If the answer is yes to most of them, it doesn't matter how grand the lobby is. That's the trip we'll still be talking about years from now.

Photo credit. Cover photo by Yunshuo Qu on Unsplash (Unsplash License); cropped. It is a mood photo, not one of our trips.

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